10 Nov 2012

Watch Out this KInd of People

I always like to think the best in a certain person. I tend to believe that everyone , even how bad they seemed still there's goodness in them and thats the area I choose to see rather than the other. But then I aways forget that in the same way, those people who seemed to be good can also have the most dangerous behaviour one must watch out!

One most recent dangerous behaviour I just encountered is a Manipulative person. Have you been manipulated by somebody? How would you know that you are being manipulated? How would we know and determine a manipulative person? Well, I do some research and read some articles about manipulation and would like to share some important points I got.

Common behaviours of Manipulative People: ( taken from SHINE)

1.Buttering You Up: To get their way, manipulators will often make you feel good so that they can then ask you to do something that they want.
_ they seemed to understand you, give good compliments , call you good, kindhearted and a giver. So that when they asked you on something you tend to give what they want because you don't want to prove his/her compliment wrong!
* What you can do? Give their compliments back to them before saying NO.

 2. Guilt: The saddest part of this strategy is that the victims of this tactic succumb to the manipulators' demands because they feel they HAVE to, not because they WANT to.
_ The manipulators will try try to put the blame on you or to others and make stories about you have no rights for the certain things and that you have no right to say NO to what they wants because of the certain reasons benefited to them.
* What you can do? Tell them that what they're doing is trying to force you into something you don't feel comfortable with.

3.Broken Record: Probably the most obvious of formats is the broken record tactic. If a person asks you enough or pushes their agenda enough…constantly repeating the question or request over and over again…in slightly different ways.
_ Whew, this is the most obvious you have to watch out then. Their like a broken tape, repeating their stories over and over and you have the tendency to give up not because you want to but because you're annoyed!
*What you can do: Ask the individual what they don't understand about the word "no." Tell them that asking you over and over again isn't going to change anything and that they are inappropriately over-stepping boundaries.

 Well then, are you familiar of these behaviours? Are you dealing with people who have exactly these symptoms? Then watch out of these kind of people. If you are already into it, just keep your eyes open and continue to stand your grounds strongly! Let not yourself be a victim of these kind of people who plays good being "the victim", "the innocent" and the "abused" one! Be clever to know these kind of people because their hard to determined.

3 readers digest:

Ricademus said...

My brother has a real problem with people like that--they take horrible advantage of him.

teJan said...

Yap Rick, they are super advantage taker. So irritation when they sounds like they are the victim!

teJan said...

sorry..irritating* i mean.

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