12 Jan 2010

Couple's Corner! Only one time!


Rodliz’s Nest
I only had one time that I felt sooo sad and angry maybe not with him but with the situation that time! I don't remember the details but I still can picture out what had happen and what made me feel so upset!

I am the silent type when I feel bad. I'm not the nagger type:) So, strange because I talk so much, almost everything and whatever. But when I keep silent, it means I don't feel good! They'll say I'm not in the mood! hahah. Good sign huh! So, it was what happen. I felt sad and depressed that time for all the adjustments I was trying to handle and I wanted my husband to see it and be sensitive enough but unfortunately he's so insensitive but I knew it already, that knowledge of him being insensitive adds my sadness that time.

He didn't knew that I was already in my lowest time because he was so focused on his computer game, I felt so sad and helpless, so I put my self into the thub full of warm water and cry...sobbing.., still he didn't notice! Until I shouted out loud, finally he noticed. But it got worse when he came up to me. He asked me what happened, I didn't say anything because I was on a hard cry. Still he kept asking, that I have to tell him if he had done something wrong or what I felt. So, even crying i told him what I felt and that he never noticed it because he was so busy playing. He told me something in a calm voice but hurt me more. He said; "and so you are trying to control me and change me into something I'm not? Is that what you want" My God! really I never expect my message will arrive on him that way! So, I never talk to him again. Better not to say at all than misunderstood, I thought! I went out from the bath thub and dressed up and went out on a cold winter night just walked and crying. But I text him not to worry, just want to be alone!

Thats the time I started not to tell him whatever sad or bad feeling I had or I will have. I chose to keep silent than to be right from then on! And this attitude of mine now makes him feel bad everytime! Its so seldom I get upset on him anyway because he's the good type of person and most of the time its just tolerable. So, better heal it in one hour than misunderstood.

When I asked him, if he get very angry with me on our almost 5years now..., he said, not at all. Just feel not good when he knew there's going on in me but I don't tell him what! But I assured him that if I'm like that, just let me be and it will just go away so fast! Hmm... that's all thank you! hahahah. Well, I'm not telling that this is right or good, my husband even told me, beg me, to tell him whenever I feel something! hmmm okey, I'm workin' on it! hehe! Happy CC every one!

10 readers digest:

Mom of Four said...

teJan, I was like you during our first years of being togethr, iyak na lang ako kapg hurt, then naiinis si Rodney sa akin kapag ayaw kong sabihin ang aking ipinagmamaktol. He used to play games too, but he stopped in his own free will. Di mo naman pinakasalan ang tao para baguhin siya, it's up to them to change di ba? I am so glad that you and your hubby get along well. But, being mad or angry is part of a relationship, just be open and truthful about what you feel. Lahat naman ng bagay eh napag uusapan, di ba? Thanks for joining and Have a great day to you and Laikka.

Jenny said...

Away is part daw ng mag asawa pero as in sa few year namin ni Lennart, never pa talaga ako nagalit ng husto sa kanya, kaya susubukan ko soon para malaman ko feeling..

Kala ko nga hindi kayo nagkagalit ng hubby mo kasi parang napakabait niya or mo para mag away...hehehe. May walked out ka pang nalalaman ha...hehehe

Happy CC kompis and ses igen...

Lina Gustina said...

Men are not sensitive, Tejan... if we don't tell straightly what we feel, our husbands won't know it...
Love reading this...

RicAdeMus said...

There are lots of different types of husbands, but let us pretend there are 3 types:

1. sensitive, knows when you are upset and wants to help
2. does not know when you are upset, but does want to help
3. does not care, does not want to help

Your husband sounds like #2. He won't know when you are upset, but he does want to help and does want you to talk with him about what is upsetting you. It is nice to have someone who is willing to listen. You should try talking to him--unless you think that will cause more problems.

Only you know what is best!

Toothfairy said...

Thank you for the comment on my blog dear.

I'd have to agree with everyone else. Men usually do not know that you're upset, they can't sense those feelings, if you don't tell them what's wrong directly, they really don't know that there's something wrong in the first place. Giving little hints is not helping either. I've learned that the hard way. It's hard, but the only solution.

@Ricademus: husband #1 does not exist.

loves

Chie Wilks said...

ohhh..even though na-misunderstood ka niya sis, at least na voice-out nimu imo feelings even once..and naa pa mo ato sa adjustment period mao nga lisod pa kaau mgreach-out sa atong partner...i've been to that situation too..it was a feeling na "he is so close yet so far" but I am a kind of a person na direct to the point mao nresolve ra daun namo to..haay ana rajud ang married life sis...

Happy CC sis...

klivengood said...

dah! nganong anha-anha sa laing planeta...nyahaha joke...bitaw oi..miss understanding lang na ug cultural adjustment lang na Jan...nya ikaw man naa diha, ikaw mo follow sa culture or nature nila...BTW..layo ka or duol sa Vasteras, kay magkita nya ta pohon...hehehe. ingnon ta ka kung maka lupad na ko. kung maka pasa sa interview hahaha. oi jan, gai diay ko email add nimo be kay daghan ko ask sa imo. or email me here. katherine_1128@yahoo.com. Delete ning akong comment nimo inig human nimo basa kay basig daghan mo email nako hahaha.

shydub said...

I think I had the kind of feeling jan before. Sensitive talaga minsan mga lalaki. Ako, sa dami ng mga instances na pinapagalit ako nga asawa ko, I can't find anyhting to write kasi magaling magpagalit itong kalbo ko, hehehe. Yang lumabas sa malamig na winter naranasan ko rin yan jan, haaaay nganu lage ni enter lol.

kathy said...

Agoy! Pareho ta sis, maghilom-hilom ra man dayon ko'g maglagot ko.. Unya dli na dayon kahimutang ning akong bana ug dli na ko gatingog.. hehehe

Usahay btaw magpalipas lng man tas atong kaulit unya motingog na dayon ug balik kung mahuwasan na...

Women
Mom
Abbeymae

Me said...

hehehehe! just remember my first yr in Sweden sa nanay pa nya kami nakatira my party sila eh akong walang kaamag amag sa salita nilay walang nag-intertain sa akin. lumayas ba naman akot hindi nagpa-alam...hehehe tapos nahulog ako sa butas nang telephone line cord...ay nako maraming bisis akong lumayas tapos sinusundo naman nila ako dahil talagang hindi ako nauwi hanggat hindi nila ako nakikita minsa polis ang tatawag minsan yong nakakakita sa akin sa dilim hehehe sobra pagdating sa layasan 100% ako dyan...
pero noon pa yon wala pa ako bb buntis pa lang...
pero ngayon wala na we´re getting used to each other minsan na miss ang argument....hehehe

It´s because don´t understand there language and tradition that time kaya palagi akong emote...


Good night!

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